1. |
Virginia Apts
04:03
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In the town of Bend, Oregon there are rowhome apartments
Between a birth center and a funeral home
I spent two years trying to figure my place there
I'd flip through famous books of poetry
But nothing ever spoke to me
I've stood there too, my knees were dry
Muddying the water won't convince me it's deeper
Now I live in Seattle across the street from a park
Sometimes people get shot there so I don't walk after dark
But the rent gets paid so I'm ok, it's not quite San Francisco
But eventually I'll probably have to leave and be replaced by a techie
But I can't see over the horizon
Sometimes I think that I'll never reach the sun
I've been five me's since the last time I saw you
And I have to wonder if this is the best one
When you taught school in Korea were you afraid of the bomb?
Did you connect with your soul there? Did you forget everyone?
Frat Paul's at Columbia Law, Erik's working at the EPA
Dennis went to Memphis for TFA, now he lives out in BK
I haven't been East since 2016, but I'm trying to make it out this fall
To see the changing leaves from my memories blazing like a fireball
Igniting the tip of the horizon
And tumbling into the sea of hills below
Erasing all the green that came before it
I am envious, but at the same time I don't know
Last time we spoke I lied
I didn't lose my phone that night
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2. |
Full-Grown Rabbit
03:21
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I became the boy with the broken leg
When I leapt in front of traffic just to prove that I was brave
Helicopter doctors came to pick me up
And they flew me to the city with brotherly love
I've no recollection of what happened next
I woke up to a neck brace and no context
They told me I was blessed
I thought that I was dead
Pretty soon I learned I lived by different rules
I said that I was tired so they sent me home from school
There I'd spend my time inside a darkened head
And I guess that's where it started, where my vast contentions bred
I got a taste for dread
I laughed at what they said
Now I am impossible to please
Darling, the problem here is me
I said a couple things that I can't take back
That thing I called you mother, well she's definitely not that
I spend my days in bed after acting cruel
Trying to think myself better, but it's never any use
I'm right back at it
My old habits
I'm a full-grown rabbit
I love you more than you'd believe
But I've got some darkness underneath
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3. |
In A Way
03:05
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Calm down, moderator, I've still got something to say
It's not that you're mistaken, I'm just on a different plane
I can't believe the fool they're trying to make of me
But don't think I don't see what they see
I do
In a way
I based my decisions all upon your moving day
I tried to face the real world, it just turned me away
And I can't breathe every time I try to speak
But I agree that you deserve this more than me
I do
In a way
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4. |
Hope Garage #3
03:41
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All the lights are red from here to Brooklyn
But I like how you talk so I don't mind
There's men at war and even more sleep walking
But giving in has never been our style
And lately I don't sleep into the morning
'Cause my days are just a cavalcade of loss
Of all the countless chances I've been given
'Cause I'll never have the chance to take them all
Just give me something to rely on
'Cause words alone cannot describe my year
If I'm a hill that you could die on
Let's put a name to what we're doing here
Before it all just disappears
Let the keystone fall out of the center
'Cause the mountains only pine for us climb
And lately I've been doing so much better
But yesterday came swinging at my side
If all my broken dreams could make a living
Then maybe I could learn to treat you right
'Cause maybe I've got something that's worth giving
Or maybe I'm just good for the ride
Just give me something to rely on
'Cause words alone cannot describe my fear
If I'm a hill that you could die on
Let's put a name to what we're doing here
Before it all just disappears
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5. |
Keep In Touch
01:48
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6. |
Brandywine
05:02
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Maybe I’ll get what I needed this time
And maybe your house is the next in the line
But I am not giving to ghosts in prime the way I did before
I split my time running and catching my breath
I’ve got a new friend, tastes like clove cigarettes
And sometimes I feel I’ve got all that I need in myself
The time that it takes to make these mistakes is all the time I ask
And I’ll come back running to you, to there, my past
I might be fine, but I miss the Brandywine
And all the ways it put to rest a lonely troubled mind
I got a new job and the boss is all right
She drinks in the morning but shows up on time
She’ll never be rich but she’s happy just getting by, as am I
But when I’m up thinking my mind turns to you
And idyllic montages burst into bloom
I stay up all night just watching them all the way through
But who are we to judge how well we’ve done, at least while we’re still young?
So I’ll keep moving, a prisoner of the sun
I might be fine, but I miss the Brandywine
And all the ways it put to rest a lonely troubled mind
And If I don’t return
It’s not that I’ve let go
I just grow restless and I need the road
And I may grow tired
And I might be weak
And I may believe
That this makes me free
Or I might be fine, but I’ll miss the Brandywine
And all the times it passed us by as you placed your hands in mine
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7. |
Me As Your Girl
03:45
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Gwendolyn drew portraits of nothing
As psychotropics flowed through her veins
Then looking in the mirror at her subject
She felt buried by the weight
(Weight of it all)
She was buried by the
(Weight of it all)
To call it just a needless distraction
Would undercut the campus charade
I just couldn't fight my attraction
I felt carried by the weight
(Weight of it all)
I still feel carried by the
(Weight of it all)
I didn't try to change our worlds by any means
I was just twiddling my thumbs imagining
Me as a maniac, you as a heart attack, you as my girl
Me as a maniac, you as a heart attack, me as your girl
Nikolas hung out at the pool hall
But never brought the money to play
He just liked the way that their blacklight
Made his denim jacket glow
(Glow a new shade)
It made his denim jacket
(Glow a new shade)
He broke it off with Gwen when he kissed me
Not knowing that they'd both done the same
As the power lines started drifting
All the lightning made me glow
(Glow a new shade)
The bolts of lightning made me
(Glow a new shade)
I didn't try to change our worlds by any means
I was just twiddling my thumbs imagining
Me as a maniac, you as a heart attack, you as my girl
Me as a maniac, you as a heart attack, me as your girl
I didn't try to change our worlds by any means
I was just twiddling my thumbs imagining
Me as a maniac, you as a heart attack, you as my girl
Me as a maniac, you as a heart attack, me as your girl
Me as a maniac, you as a heart attack, I'd give you the world
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8. |
Heaven Knows I've Tried
03:54
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Did you wait for stones against your window?
Or were you ever home alone at all?
I've always gone whichever way the wind blows
Hoping that I'd end up in your arms
I lie awake beside you sometimes thinking
Of all the ones who've filled space before
Some whose warmth I'm sure you don't remember
Some, I'm sure, who claimed to love you more
Were any of them witty or just handsome?
Are any of them in your favorite songs?
It's not that I think love's a competition
Or anything you've done before was wrong
Oh I'm not the jealous type
I just don't get what you like
I'm wide awake and I hear your heart beating
How do I exist inside your mind?
Are all my flaws amended with revisions?
Or are the good and bad left undefined?
I'd lie right here forever if you'd let me
And sometimes I'm convinced that you just might
But I've never been known for intuition
And I've been shaken by a few goodbyes
Oh I've never know the signs
And heaven knows I've tried
But I'd like to get this right
And keep you satisfied
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9. |
Afterglow
02:57
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Took off my shoulder pads, walked off the field, and joined a one-man band
Went through the doorway in a fever dream of unrecognized plans
In every ending there's a motorcade of strangers who had nothing else to do that day
There are too many people standing in this church that I don't love
Enough to validate their stories with an everlasting shrug
To watch me go, I'm a hero in my bones
And I hope you find a better way out
Back to the ether and I'm laughing at the tears that they've now found
Kathy and Caroline see clearly though the makeup of a clown
And come the morning news will finally have space for breaking down
There are too many people standing in this church that they don't know
Enough to validate their fictions with an underserving show
Afterglow, I'm a hero in my bones
And I hope you find a better way out
What careful elegance put words to pain in such an arcane bliss
I find myself believe intimacies I know don't exist
Or maybe I just wasn't open to whatever they could give
There are too many people standing in this church just for themselves
And I am one of them, and toe to toe I truly wish you well
Afterglow, casts a shadow from my bones
And I hope you find a better way out
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Jordan Graves Seattle, Washington
Jordan Graves is a DIY musician operating out of Seattle, WA
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